Black Friday, Black Christmas

The holidays have arrived. The time when upper middle class skinny white people give luxury cars affixed with gigantic red bows to each other, and I'm-With-Stupid t-shirt wearing white trash pummel each other with pepper spray and racial slurs to get a discount on an Xbox their obese children will tire of in three days.

Black Christmas 2006

Sadly (?), Black Christmas (2006) makes me feel more Christmas cookie cuddly than these two opposing social echelons of equally perverse people do. I need to hear Zooey Deschanel sing an adorkable version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer stat to revive any modicum of holiday spirit I have remaining in my heart.